Saturday, August 16, 2008

Cold War 2 (Russia's Revenge!)

I can see a new Cold War developing soon (I guess we had 2 World Wars before we learnt anything, so we'll have to have 2 Cold Wars as well!)

Russia is really starting to throw it's weight around and antagonise America again, any chance to get up the nose of the world superpower they will take. They recently rejected a UN proposal to impose sanctions on Zimbabwe just to piss off America, and now they've invaded Georgia because they know (or think) that there is nothing America can do about it. America unfortunately has simply created too much conflict around the world in recent years and they're now aware (finally, thanks to Iraq and a few Michael Moore movies) that the rest of the world is extremely sensitive to them throwing their weight around any more. (Plus they're most likely getting geared up for Iran at the moment anyway!)

It's a huge power struggle starting up again. This works in two ways for Russia, because Georgia sent the third biggest contingent of troops to Iraq after America and England, and now Georgia is begging for support from the Americans because of all the help they provided them in Iraq. But what is America going to do, start a war with Russia and kick off World War 3??? (And is Georgia really worth defending, do they have any oil?)

Russia has most definitely thought this one through carefully in order to show their increased muscle in the world again, as well as providing the maximum annoyance to the USA (thus providing the maximum enjoyment for Russia!) Because at the end of the day it's all about pissing off the USA! (and admittedly they do tend to bring it on themselves on occasions!)

Or then again, this could all simply be an unconscious natural reaction by Russia to the fact that the Chinese have had a chance to parade all their Communist glory to the world through the Beijing Olympics, and now Russia wants to relive their old Commie glory days too!

I get bored shitless in Australia sometimes, but then other times I do enjoy sitting back in this wonderful country watching the rest of the world slowly blow itself up!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Stephanie Sticky Rice

Australian Olympic swimming gold medalist Stephanie Rice most certainly has an appropriate surname for the Beijing Olympics (although I personally would have gone for the Stephanie Dumplings instead)

So does she simply choose an appropriate surname related to the particular country she's in for each Olympics? Had she been in the Sydney Olympics for example would she have been Stephanie Meat Pie? Or for the Atlanta Olympics would she have been Stephanie Twinkie and Root Beer? Or for the Athens Olympics would she have been Stephanie Greek Salad? What about the London Olympics coming up? Will she go with Stephanie Yorkshire Pudding or just keep it simple and stick with mum's old favourite Stephanie Bangers and Mash?

What about after the Olympics are over and she returns home? I think Stephanie What's Your Phone Number Would You Like To Go To A Movie With Me And Then Come Back To My House For A Twinkie And Root Beer would be a great name!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Plight Of The Tibetans

Australian Olympic Cyclist and pro-Tibet activist Cadel Evans will be visiting Tibet on his way home from the Beijing Olympics. He claims that "It's a sad situation and I think similar to what happened with the Australian Aborigines"

Yes, that is exactly right, because BOTH COUNTRIES WERE INVADED BY THE BRITISH EMPIRE!

Here's a couple of quotes I've cut and pasted from from Wikipedia (I'm too lazy to be bothered manually writing out quotes from the books I have at home)

The biggest massacre took place on March 31, 1904, at a mountain pass halfway to Gyantze near a village called Guru. Colonel Younghusband tricked the 2,000 Tibetan soldiers guarding the pass into extinguishing the burning ropes of their basic rifles before firing at them with the Maxim machine guns and rifles.

The accounts of those who pulled the triggers make it clear that the British had the intention of killing as many as possible. “From three sides at once a withering volley of magazine fire crashed into the crowded mass of Tibetans,” wrote Perceval Landon. “Under the appalling punishment of lead, they [the Tibetans] staggered, failed and ran…Men dropped at every yard.”

The British soldiers mowed down the Tibetans with machine guns as they fled. "I got so sick of the slaughter that I ceased fire, though the general’s order was to make as big a bag as possible," wrote Lieutenant Arthur Hadow, commander of the Maxim guns detachment. "I hope I shall never again have to shoot down men walking away."

Yes, the British empire slaughtered mass Tibetans, mowed them down with machine gun fire in the back as they walked away. They then went on the conquer Tibet and claim it for themselves (as an extension of British India) until the Indian mutiny over British rule eventually resulted in Britain leaving India and all surrounding areas (including Tibet)

And so, if Britain had not been forced to abandon British India, they would still rule over Tibet, the same as they still rule over Australia. And now we kick up a big stink because China now occupies Tibet, which it already did 1,000 years before Britain invaded Tibet themselves anyway.

So why do we get so worked up about this in the west? I'm curious. Is it because Britian are good and China are evil? It was ok for Britain to invade because they are the goodies but not ok for China because they are the baddies?

That's what shits me about all of these Tibet protests. I'm not arguing that there isn't problems in Tibet that need to be worked out, I just can't stand westerners who have no idea of their own history complaining about China, a country the British Empire also single-handedly brought to it's knees, destroying 5,000 years of culture more advanced than their own, and then taking ownership of Hong Kong! I mean, what the fuck is that shit?! How dare we protest!

If China did not occupy Tibet today, Britain would! Let's not act so innocent in all of this! What a nerve for us to speak out about it! Slaughtering Tibetans in the back with machine gun fire as they walked away! I've never heard anyone protesting about that little tid-bit of information.

(although if Britain did still occupy Tibet then I guess Tibet would have a cricket team, which would be one good thing. I wonder if the Dalai Lama knows how to bowl a googly?)

Friday, August 01, 2008

Mars Needs More Probing

As of today it is now 'official' that there is water on Mars. It is now fully confirmed, today's headline news.

WHO CARES!!!!!

I don't want to know if there is water on Mars. Why do you think man sent a 'probe' to Mars in the first place? TO PROBE FOR CHICKS OF COURSE! I want to know, like all men, if Mars has chicks! Green chicks with 5 heads and 10 sets of tits or something, anything!

Why else would man probe another planet other than to see if there was anything else out there worth probing? We can then drink the water on Mars after we have finished having sex with whatever it is out there! (coz we'll be very thirsty after all that sex and fondling of 10 sets of tits)

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Nick's Blog Has Re-Opened

I'M BACK! True to my word, I'm now famous and have re-opened my blog as promised! It's running in conjunction with my new comic strip "Rejected" (www.rejectedcomic.com) so check it out and get it updated on your facebook page and do whatever you have to do to check it out daily!

More legendary blog posts coming soon...